once you've got a decade on this, (and the smaller children context) one can level up and police them, not just avoid, ...curiously while just as stressful in the moment it does not seem to grind one down long term, and the one after than might be easier yet....
Policing bad, stupid, or crazy people can definitely work if you occupy a position of authority that is respected. At work, my previous boss was one of the problems, and I spent more time managing an appearance of support for him and doing pointless busywork than doing anything useful. With relatives, we were guests staying in their house, so I didn't have any clout there, either. I spent a lot of time cleaning, a lot of time washing dishes, and a lot of time trying to keep warm outside where no one was yelling.
once you've got a decade on this, (and the smaller children context) one can level up and police them, not just avoid, ...curiously while just as stressful in the moment it does not seem to grind one down long term, and the one after than might be easier yet....
Policing bad, stupid, or crazy people can definitely work if you occupy a position of authority that is respected. At work, my previous boss was one of the problems, and I spent more time managing an appearance of support for him and doing pointless busywork than doing anything useful. With relatives, we were guests staying in their house, so I didn't have any clout there, either. I spent a lot of time cleaning, a lot of time washing dishes, and a lot of time trying to keep warm outside where no one was yelling.